The Chronicles of a Partially Sane Average Man Episode 3: My Red Pill Journey to Nowhere

The Tough Red Pill Journey to Nowhere

Yo Yo Yo what's up party people Dauking back again with another episode of The Chronicles of a Partially Sane Average Man. If you are reading this thank you so much I really appreciate your support and hope that you can get something out of this episode that may be able to help you navigate your own life. Today's topic is about my red pill journey and how even after all my hard work it has still led to nothing, I am sorry if this is not as uplifting as my other usual posts but I swear to try and give you advice come the end of this post. This post is going to be more of a documented retelling of my life for the last 8 years and may be a little long winded compared to my other posts but I will try and keep it as short as possible. Okay, Okay enough jibber jabber Dau lets stop boring them and actually start getting into the nitty gritty. To start I must ask a Question that some of you will know the answer to but for those who don't see if you can guess, so here it goes What is the Red Pill? I will give you a few minutes to ponder this let me start a timer. Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo, Doo Doo Doo Doo, Ahhnnnnnnhhn times up. For those of you that still cannot answer this question let me elaborate for you because this context is going to be extremely important to understand the rest of my post, so y'all ready for this here we go time for a little background on this crazy concept and believe it or not it all started with a late 90's movie called the Matrix........

The Origin of the Pills:

Back in 1999 a film was released called The Matrix and it was about the main protagonist Neo finding out from a mysterious person called Morpheus that the world he lived in was one big computer simulation. I am not going to go over the whole premise of the movie as that is not what this post is about but I may review this film in another post at a later date. The reason why I am mentioning this is because in the film there is a scene where Morpheus offers Neo two different color pills a Blue one and a Red one. The Blue one allows him to stay in the simulation blissfully ignorant of the truth of the world and the red one allows him to break free of the simulation and live a life outside of it, with the knowledge that the world he knows is one big lie. In this current day and age this scene has become synonymous with a movement amongst the male community worldwide with various figures selling these ideas to men online. Names that you may have heard like Andrew Tate, Hamza, Jose Zuniga and many other men trying to motivate people to escape our current day 'Matrix' that we live in by starting a journey of Self-Improvement to become the literal best version of yourself that you possibly can. In theory it sounds like a noble crusade but underneath the surface lies issues that these individuals do not tell you, consequences of this lifestyle that most certainly have the potential to cause harm to any individual who buys into this lifestyle, I am one of those victims.... Nah just kidding, there is no serious harm that can come from improving yourself and it is extremely important that everyone in this world strives to be the best version of themself whether you are Male or Female. However, there are some serious issues that can emerge if you become completely obsessed with this concept and it does have the potential to negatively effect you mentally, just as much as it positively effects you. But before I dive into my struggles with this movement, I must first explain the meaning of these concepts and why they cause so much controversy amongst people, so let me now explain the core beliefs of these concepts......

The Rationale of the Blue Pill:

I have already talked about The Matrix and how to scene with the pills has become iconic, however you may be saying things like "but Dauking The Matrix is not real, we do not live in a computer simulation that is stupid". Well my dear friends I hate to break it to you but your whole world is a lie and we actually do live in a Matrix and now that I have shared this the robots will be killing all of us in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ahhhhhhhhhhhh we are all dead. Oh I am still here bugger I was so sure to...... nah just kidding you are right we do not live in a computer simulation, that really is something that only occurs in movies for now. But what if I told you that whilst the simulation version of the Matrix in unreal, we do actually live in a different kind of Matrix full of belief systems that we are told from a young age that actually become problematic as we get older. These belief systems get hammered into us from a young age in an attempt to control society. Many of these belief systems are proven wrong as we progress through our life and it can lead to great pain and suffering from individuals that truly believed in it, as they feel like they have been lied to. Because we like to simplify things, these beliefs have been combined together and are now represented by a specific thing, that thing is called the Blue pill. Many of this section will be coming from a young male point of view as that is the area where I have the most experience in, but I will try to cover manipulative beliefs of females to so lets just get straight into it.

The Blue Pill in The Matrix is used to represent blissful ignorance about the true world around you and allow you to live your life with nothing but hope about the future. With vague beliefs like "there is someone out there for everyone", "you just have to wait for the right person", "get a job, save up money and retire well", "personality is the only thing that matters in life for everything". These are just a few of the statements that you may here from people who are considered 'Blue pilled'. To simplify it, life is easy and with a little bit of faith you can live the best life ever. Sound good, I know I like the sound of it, being able to achieve my dream life with little to no self improvement. If you could go through life eating what you want, doing what you want, having a good work life balance, just sitting around waiting for the partner of your dreams to fall into your lap, all without having to change a single thing and by simply just being yourself you would be an idiot not to take it. But life does not work that way, just having faith things will work out can only get you so far and you may be happy for a while. Eventually though, as the delays and frustrations stack up this faith will waver and you will start realizing that life is not that simple, which potentially can effect your mental health significantly, making the idea of going for a drive, closing your eyes and letting go of the wheel very tempting. That is what happened to me, as I started losing faith in my life my will to keep going started to dwindle. I started asking questions like, Why do I feel like this? Why is nothing happening? Am I not meant to be happy? all these thoughts started plaguing me on a daily basis so I decided to turn to the one place where all the answers are, the perfect crystal ball, the catalyst of truth and correctness, I turned to the Internet.... Which leads to our next section, so follow me my friends, as I attempt to navigate you through the RED PILL RABBIT HOLE.

A Journey Through the Red Pill Rabbit Hole:

As young Dauking is furiously typing on google asking questions like Why do girls not like me? Am I attractive? What makes a man attractive to a woman? How do I become rich? How to get 6 pack abs? He stumbles across a link to a Youtube video by someone called Teaching Men's Fashion with the title of the video being How to make girls attracted to you, his face lights up, here it is the answer to all my problems, the secret to becoming a master seducer and have girls surrounding you he clicks. The video begins and as he intently watches his heart sinks, Jose the man on the video tells him the only way to attract woman is to perfect yourself in every area, style, hair, body, face, financial status, social status and many other things. The video ends and young Dauking feels defeated, how am I suppose to do this, I cannot get abs, I have no idea how to make money, I cannot be confident. All these doubts plague his mind and he becomes depressed he asks himself one question Is this it, am I truly going to be alone forever? All of a sudden, he feels something, a feeling deep down, almost like a little spark of hope that maybe, just maybe if he can do this his life will be fixed. So he makes a decision, it is time to start the long, exhausting process of becoming the perfect man or a 'High Value Man' as Jose called it. The next day he tells his mother that he wants a gym membership, she agrees and helps him pay for it and so begins his long self improvement process.

Did you like that? I tried to make it as dramatic as possible I am a phenomenal dramatic writer aye, might turn that into a movie one day........ hahahaha no just kidding again to be fair that really was just my story, my first taste of the Red pill and after 8 years of hard, intensive work I have almost achieved my goal of being a so called 'High Value Man'. The whole idea behind the Red pill is this characterization of the 'High Value Man' or sometimes but not as prominent the idea of a 'High Value Woman'. For men that would be becoming financially free, being internally confident, holding a high social status, having a perfect 6 pack ab aesthetic body, keeping yourself well groomed and stylish and it goes on and on. For woman this looks like being a traditional wife that is happy to cook, clean, take care of the household, look after children and treat her man like a King by being completely appreciative of the work he does to look after her, their children and their families. The Red pill is heavily influenced by old fashioned, evolutionary beliefs that a man's job is to protect and provide for a woman and a woman is supposed to take care of her man and their household. Triggered yet, or do you believe in these principles, would be interesting to find out your opinion. The red pill paints this picture of two perfect individuals in every way, with little to no flaws whatsoever, you spend years improving yourself until you are perfect in every area and part of the top 1% of people worldwide. The Red pill holds the belief that no man is attractive until he is perfect and that he should only look for a woman who is 'wife material', with expectation like few sexual partners, loyal, obsessed with him and willing to treat him like a king every day. The core of the Red pill seems good, you are promoting self-improvement in order to live your best life, but where it falls apart is this concept of perfection. Becoming perfect is insanely difficult and even when you achieve it you have to maintain it, which yes is easier than getting it to begin with, however maintaining this perfection can consume your life and your mental strength in the process. There are many aspects of this belief system that I like and subscribe to but simultaneously there are parts of it that I no longer believe in. Which brings us to my next section, where I will talk about, my experience with these two belief systems and how over these last 8 years my thoughts on them have changed significantly, you ready lets go.

A Journey to Nowhere:

I spent 8 years working extremely hard on myself, completely determined to change myself. I would spend hours and hours per day on Youtube watching video, after video, after video on how to improve myself, how to become like the guys making thousands of dollars off of Red pill content. However, unlike these guys my reason was not as noble, these content creators pushed Red pill values in order to make your life better but for me I only had one goal, one dream, one thing I wanted to accomplish more than anything else, that thing was to get a girlfriend. I didn't care about making money, finding my purpose, making more friends all those things seemed pointless to me but they all seemed necessary to achieve my main goal. I have been obsessed with finding a girlfriend from a very young age, even at primary school I would only be concerned about finding a girlfriend. This transitioned as I got older into me finding 'my soulmate' instead, my perfect woman where realistically in my mind meant one thing physically attractive. I know this is the mentality of the vast majority of men out there the only difference between me and them is my mentality is one of addiction. I have always seen attractive woman as a drug that I cannot get enough of, at school I would always pick a girl who was extremely attractive, latch on and fantasize about her nonstop. However, due to the fact that I could write an entire post about my struggle with this mentality I will be saving that for a later date, it also gives you a reason to come back so look forward to that ;). Instead this post will be focused on my Red pill journey in relation to my quest for love and happiness.

As I said I have spent 8 years working on myself in every area and int those 8 years I have not got any closer to achieving this goal. The first main principle of the Red pill was building a aesthetic body with six pack abs so this was the first aim I set out to achieve. My belief system was that if I have six pack abs it will make girls more attracted to me, but little spoiler alert, I have only recently achieved this goal and whilst I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror a bit more, it has done nothing to help me get a girlfriend. Next I thought that maybe it was the way I dress and smell, so I changed my style and started putting more effort into my appearance. Before I started this journey I would never really care what I wore, if something was comfortable I would wear it, even if it made me look like a 5 year old kid, or a homeless person. I then use to not be conscious of my scent, I would wake up in the morning spray on some deodorant and head out for the day, I would only have a shower after doing intense exercise that made me sweat which usually was only twice a week. It is only now that I have started putting effort into these factors, I now have a set style and all my outfits are put together to match and extenuate my features. I shower once, sometimes twice a day if I have gone to the gym and now always wear deodorant and cologne, reapplying throughout the day. However, surprise surprise due to these being basic things that everyone should do it has not really helped get me a girlfriend either. So I then thought that it must be my confidence and charisma, I cannot even look a girl in the eye let alone talk to her. So I started putting myself out there, forcing myself to talk to more woman and build up my internal confidence. This has been the hardest thing to change as it has required serious internal work as well as external, but even though now I am not only capable of talking to girls but keeping things fun and playful in a conversation this still has not helped me achieve my goal. So I had to look further into other avenues which brought me only a few different answers....

It must be my financial situation and my independence from my parents that is letting me down so that was the next thing that needed to change. I was in a 'situationship' with a girl a couple of year ago that really did a number on me. I will cover this in depth in a later post but for now all you need to know, is that the main thing I realized from this dilemma was that living with my parents severely restricted my freedom and stopped me from doing things like having sex. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and move up to Auckland by myself to follow my dream of being an actor. But even though I live in a apartment by myself and have nothing but freedom this has not changed my girlfriend situation either. At this rate I was running out of self improvement ideas still with no girlfriend in sight. Which is where I regret to inform you that this is the position I am in now, yes I know, I know, I wish I could tell you the story of how I finally uncovered the secret of attraction, got the girl of my dreams and are now living abundantly with her but unfortunately that is not the case. In the final section I will summarize this for you and give you an overview on where my heads at now and how I am currently trying to solve this situation and achieve my goal, so lets finish this....

My Current Reality:

As I have progressed through this journey of the Red pill, blindly following the guidance of random gurus online, I still find myself unsure of what to do. I have improved every aspect of myself to its max and are no longer able to grow in those areas anymore, yet I still have not completed my quest for love. I know we as humans are constantly growing and improving ourselves every day until we die, but I feel that I am at the point where I can grow no further by myself. I am constantly self reflecting everyday, replaying all my interactions in my head figuring out what I could have done better but I feel with my love quest I have hit a wall. I no longer know what to do to make myself more attractive I have no ideas left in my mind except for becoming a millionaire, or getting surgery to make myself look like a male model. I have an aesthetic body, I have a good sense of style, I always keep up with my personnel hygiene even putting in extra effort to make myself smell good, I am independent of my parents for the most part with them still financially helping me a bit, but I do live on my own and have freedom, I am working towards my purpose in life which is to entertain and help people, I have strong internal confidence and I like to think I have great charisma. Yet even after all of these things my quest for love is still ongoing and everyday i wake up hoping that this is the day it will all change. However, I do not really subscribe to either Red pill or Blue pill beliefs now and instead operate on the principles which I call the purple pill. It is a combination of both Red and Blue pill beliefs, I am still constantly self improving and trying to maintain the improvements I have already made, whilst also still relying on hope and god that he will send me the girl of my dreams.

So that my friends is where I am at currently and I write this post not to try and discourage you, or to tell you how difficult life is but just to explain my struggle and show you that even by becoming obsessed with self improvement there is still no guarantee that your life will work out the way you want it. But don't get me wrong, I do believe self improvement is important and that everyone whether you are a Man , Woman, Dog, Ghost or Alien you should always seek to be the best version of yourself. But just be careful to not become so obsessed with it that you exhaust yourself like crazy trying to achieve your goals. I do believe there is still an element of luck and fate in the manifestation of your wildest dreams especially when in comes to something as uncontrollable as love. I am here waiting on god and the universe to help me complete my quest for love, so for now I am being patient and I suggest you do the same whilst also bettering yourself in the process. So follow me my friends, take one of the Purple pills below and join me in this wait, because one thing I can tell you for certain, is that in the end all your dreams and desires including that romantic partner will be worth the wait. That does not mean you should expect to wait for years, I cannot handle that idea of waiting for years and I know you wont be able to either, but you can be patient for at least one more day. Thank you all so much for reading sorry about these long paragraphs a lot to unpack, if you have read all of it you are a bloody legend. Phew I am exhausted now time to go to bed, but before I go, I just want to say, always remember to dance like a chicken, live life to its fullest and have a very good night.

Dauking Out *salute